I'm in one of those poetic, thinky moods today.
It's like I want to figure out everything about myself and the world around me. I'm analyzing the trees, the sky, the middle-aged couple playing tennis on the court near my house. The trees are especially green, and the sky has some indistinct clouds in the distance.
I imagine that there are castles in those far-off clouds, and a long-lost princess is on her way there by hot air balloon. I find myself making up stories about the couple, how the man is a business guy and this is one of his few days home out of the week, and how the woman is secretly having an affair with their accountant. It's not that I believe these people are actually unhappy. I'm sure they are lovely, content people. That story is just the way my mind is thinking today.
Beyond all the physical make-believes, I'm scrutinizing myself. My personality, my imagination, my intelligence. It isn't a negativity self-pity fest, don't get me wrong. It's just my way of figuring out who I am and what I'm here for. Because we're all here for something, right?
And it's not like I'll ever know for certain exactly what my true calling is. I just like the idea that I am putting in effort to search for that special something that makes me...me. The way I see it, I'll learn plenty about myself along the way, even if I never figure out specifically why I am here in the first place. And really, that's all anyone can ask for. A chance at figuring herself out.
