Sometimes people just need to be reminded that they deserve to be here. They need to be convinced that they are worth it- even if the rest of the world seems to beat them down and keep them stuck in a perpetual black pit. This applies even if they are their own worst enemy- ESPECIALLY if they are their own worst enemy.
I've realized over the past few years that some people just don't see their own worth. Even the kindest, most compassionate, selfless humans are able to harbor unspeakable sadness. And unfortunately it seems like most of the people I know who harbor that kind of sorrow are the people who have helped me and loved me the most.
Still, their sadness often goes unnoticed- pushed to the side so as not to bother anyone else, or just because they have the terribly false notion that they will never be able to love themselves.
The thing that gets me the most is when my friends believe that somehow everything is their fault. Even if you have made a mistake or two, you shouldn't blame yourself for the pain that settles around you. Not everything is someone's fault-sometimes it's just life at its finest, teaching us through pain or loss or mistakes. We need these things to grow and to get better. Yes, we should acknowledge these flaws, but holding onto them because we feel we are in the wrong is just plain unhealthy.
Feelings are not facts.
Why do some people hate themselves? Why can't they see the good things about themselves and embrace those? Why can't they love themselves instead of fixating on the tiniest flaws?
I feel like we are such defeatists. It's like we cant ever be proud of ourselves or love ourselves, for fear of being called stuck-up or self-centered. It's a vicious circle, and society doesn't make it any easier for us to love ourselves.
People to do that- lower their expectations, devalue themselves- to protect themselves from disappointment. From getting hurt. From the pain caused by other people. It's a defense mechanism that can turn into a horrible, horrible habit and a serious psychological problem.
I see so much of this unspeakable sadness that I cannot believe it. There are family issues, self-hatred, drug problems, and anxiety everywhere I turn. It's like everyone around me is trapped in this bubble of hatred and pain and sorrow, caused by a variety of different things, and I can't do a thing about it except to watch on and say that I am here. All I have are my words. And unfortunately, those aren't enough to help some people.
I know this is not as cheery and uplifting as my other posts, but I write about what I see. I don't know how to fix this pain, and I can't always understand the profound sadness that I see, but I DO know that the only way to get better is by changing your thoughts, however that has to happen for you.
If you harbor unspeakable sadness, or if you see people who do, I am here to tell you that you CAN change the way you feel. As much as it may feel like it, your situation is not hopeless. You are loved, and no matter what it feels like, there is at least one person who will be at your side every day through this.
Please, don't do sadness.
