Love. It's in the air. It's on the radio. It's in our books, on TV, in the movies. It's in our blood. We see it everywhere, whether it's the love between a romantic couple or the love between two best friends or a brother and sister, mother and daughter, performer and fan. Love is everywhere.
Everyone craves love. It's what motivates us. We all want to be loved and to love back. It's just a fact, and if you think you can live without love, you may want to redefine your definition of love. Love is a wide umbrella of emotion, and you can feel love for a pet, a person, an activity. There are no limitations to what love can do. The only thing I can tell you about love is that when you feel love, you just... know.
The world needs more love. If people did everything based on love, there would be more artists and more happy people. If love was shown and returned, violence would decrease, and people would have greater support during tragedies that did occur.
The unfortunate truth, as we saw once again yesterday with the horrifying events that transpired in Boston, Massachusetts, is that violence happens, and people across the world are affected by these tragedies, to various degrees.
All I can say is that I know those affected on a personal level will get through this, with the help of their family and friends. It is times like this when we are all reminded of the simple humanity that unites us all.
I see so much love around me- shared love, one-sided love, friends, family, pets, and terribly confusing love triangle/pentagons- and that love, no matter how it is manifested, becomes intensified during times when every day life is thrown out of balance.
"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love."
--Mother Teresa
Love well.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Thursday, March 21, 2013
songs in the key of silence
Sometimes people just need to be reminded that they deserve to be here. They need to be convinced that they are worth it- even if the rest of the world seems to beat them down and keep them stuck in a perpetual black pit. This applies even if they are their own worst enemy- ESPECIALLY if they are their own worst enemy.
I've realized over the past few years that some people just don't see their own worth. Even the kindest, most compassionate, selfless humans are able to harbor unspeakable sadness. And unfortunately it seems like most of the people I know who harbor that kind of sorrow are the people who have helped me and loved me the most.
Still, their sadness often goes unnoticed- pushed to the side so as not to bother anyone else, or just because they have the terribly false notion that they will never be able to love themselves.
The thing that gets me the most is when my friends believe that somehow everything is their fault. Even if you have made a mistake or two, you shouldn't blame yourself for the pain that settles around you. Not everything is someone's fault-sometimes it's just life at its finest, teaching us through pain or loss or mistakes. We need these things to grow and to get better. Yes, we should acknowledge these flaws, but holding onto them because we feel we are in the wrong is just plain unhealthy.
Feelings are not facts.
Why do some people hate themselves? Why can't they see the good things about themselves and embrace those? Why can't they love themselves instead of fixating on the tiniest flaws?
I feel like we are such defeatists. It's like we cant ever be proud of ourselves or love ourselves, for fear of being called stuck-up or self-centered. It's a vicious circle, and society doesn't make it any easier for us to love ourselves.
People to do that- lower their expectations, devalue themselves- to protect themselves from disappointment. From getting hurt. From the pain caused by other people. It's a defense mechanism that can turn into a horrible, horrible habit and a serious psychological problem.
I see so much of this unspeakable sadness that I cannot believe it. There are family issues, self-hatred, drug problems, and anxiety everywhere I turn. It's like everyone around me is trapped in this bubble of hatred and pain and sorrow, caused by a variety of different things, and I can't do a thing about it except to watch on and say that I am here. All I have are my words. And unfortunately, those aren't enough to help some people.
I know this is not as cheery and uplifting as my other posts, but I write about what I see. I don't know how to fix this pain, and I can't always understand the profound sadness that I see, but I DO know that the only way to get better is by changing your thoughts, however that has to happen for you.
If you harbor unspeakable sadness, or if you see people who do, I am here to tell you that you CAN change the way you feel. As much as it may feel like it, your situation is not hopeless. You are loved, and no matter what it feels like, there is at least one person who will be at your side every day through this.
Please, don't do sadness.
I've realized over the past few years that some people just don't see their own worth. Even the kindest, most compassionate, selfless humans are able to harbor unspeakable sadness. And unfortunately it seems like most of the people I know who harbor that kind of sorrow are the people who have helped me and loved me the most.
Still, their sadness often goes unnoticed- pushed to the side so as not to bother anyone else, or just because they have the terribly false notion that they will never be able to love themselves.
The thing that gets me the most is when my friends believe that somehow everything is their fault. Even if you have made a mistake or two, you shouldn't blame yourself for the pain that settles around you. Not everything is someone's fault-sometimes it's just life at its finest, teaching us through pain or loss or mistakes. We need these things to grow and to get better. Yes, we should acknowledge these flaws, but holding onto them because we feel we are in the wrong is just plain unhealthy.
Feelings are not facts.
Why do some people hate themselves? Why can't they see the good things about themselves and embrace those? Why can't they love themselves instead of fixating on the tiniest flaws?
I feel like we are such defeatists. It's like we cant ever be proud of ourselves or love ourselves, for fear of being called stuck-up or self-centered. It's a vicious circle, and society doesn't make it any easier for us to love ourselves.
People to do that- lower their expectations, devalue themselves- to protect themselves from disappointment. From getting hurt. From the pain caused by other people. It's a defense mechanism that can turn into a horrible, horrible habit and a serious psychological problem.
I see so much of this unspeakable sadness that I cannot believe it. There are family issues, self-hatred, drug problems, and anxiety everywhere I turn. It's like everyone around me is trapped in this bubble of hatred and pain and sorrow, caused by a variety of different things, and I can't do a thing about it except to watch on and say that I am here. All I have are my words. And unfortunately, those aren't enough to help some people.
I know this is not as cheery and uplifting as my other posts, but I write about what I see. I don't know how to fix this pain, and I can't always understand the profound sadness that I see, but I DO know that the only way to get better is by changing your thoughts, however that has to happen for you.
If you harbor unspeakable sadness, or if you see people who do, I am here to tell you that you CAN change the way you feel. As much as it may feel like it, your situation is not hopeless. You are loved, and no matter what it feels like, there is at least one person who will be at your side every day through this.
Please, don't do sadness.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
may the stars carry your sadness away
There has been way too much strife in my little corner of the world this week. I am seeing disease, heartbreak, unnecessary stress, and some pretty devastating things happening to a lot of people in my community. I don't know if it's just that I am noticing it more because I am older, or if social media magnifies the troubles in the world, but I am seeing so much pain all around me.
And today I'm not talking about self-doubt or trouble with "finding yourself." This stuff is real. From death to cancer to breakups from long-term relationships. And it is tragic for everyone. All this strife in one little tiny town? It seems impossible. But it's not.
Suddenly, I am feeling such sympathy (and empathy) for people who I barely talk to. I am realizing how close-knit a community we are, and I am starting to see a side to some people that I wasn't sure existed. I don't really know what to say about this, except that I wish there was something I could do to make all this pain and fear go away.
I know that these are problems that must be fixed with time, and unfortunately some of these problems will only get worse. The saddest thing is that is how the world works. There is constantly loss and tragedy and grief, and yet this earth continues to turn and babies are still born and people still fall in love, all while tears are being shed only a few feet away.
I ask you all today to do a few things:
1) Be thankful for the people in your life and think about what they mean to you.
2) Tell them you love them. Please.
3) Extend support to anyone who may need it- whether they accept it or not, that empathy still means something
4) Think positive thoughts, and if you pray (or whatever your regimen may consist of) please keep these struggling people and families in your heart
There isn't really much else to say, and I think that you all understand what I'm trying to get at here. But PLEASE don't forget how precious your life and your health are, and how precious your family and friends are, if not for any reason other than to feel some love. Continue to laugh and live and love as passionately as you can, and you have nothing to fear.
And today I'm not talking about self-doubt or trouble with "finding yourself." This stuff is real. From death to cancer to breakups from long-term relationships. And it is tragic for everyone. All this strife in one little tiny town? It seems impossible. But it's not.
Suddenly, I am feeling such sympathy (and empathy) for people who I barely talk to. I am realizing how close-knit a community we are, and I am starting to see a side to some people that I wasn't sure existed. I don't really know what to say about this, except that I wish there was something I could do to make all this pain and fear go away.
I know that these are problems that must be fixed with time, and unfortunately some of these problems will only get worse. The saddest thing is that is how the world works. There is constantly loss and tragedy and grief, and yet this earth continues to turn and babies are still born and people still fall in love, all while tears are being shed only a few feet away.
I ask you all today to do a few things:
1) Be thankful for the people in your life and think about what they mean to you.
2) Tell them you love them. Please.
3) Extend support to anyone who may need it- whether they accept it or not, that empathy still means something
4) Think positive thoughts, and if you pray (or whatever your regimen may consist of) please keep these struggling people and families in your heart
There isn't really much else to say, and I think that you all understand what I'm trying to get at here. But PLEASE don't forget how precious your life and your health are, and how precious your family and friends are, if not for any reason other than to feel some love. Continue to laugh and live and love as passionately as you can, and you have nothing to fear.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
be your own kind of perfect
"Look famous. Be legendary. Appear complex. Radiate presence. Travel light. Seem a dream. Prove real."
For some reason, these phrases have been floating around in my head all week. I saw them on a quotes website whilst searching for quotes about the Roaring '20s, and they just stuck with me. They ring so poignantly and are unconventional inspirational words.
You would never think to encourage someone by telling them to try and appear to be something on the outside that they might not be on the inside. When you initially read that, you think that it is bad because it appears to be about external features. After thinking about it though, I've realized that this is the quote I've been waiting to hear for the past 5 years of my life.
I am constantly saying how I hate it when people tell me to be confident. I feel that way because I have always thought of confidence as arrogance, for whatever reason. Everyone I knew who was supposedly "confident" I saw as bratty, self-absorbed, and condescending. I never once stopped to think that maybe I just hadn't seen REAL confidence in action.
I realize now that REAL confidence comes from loving yourself and being able to understand who you truly are and what you are capable of. REAL confidence is believing in yourself enough to put your talents out there. It is also having the modesty to humbly accept praise. REAL confidence is a balance between humanity and fearlessness, and I've never looked at it that way.
In my opinion, "Travel light" is another way of saying that you have to let some things go or that you have to be modest. If you let everything you are (or aren't) capable of go to your head, your ego will inflate (or deflate) so much that it becomes pointless to even try. You just have to let some things go. Acknowledge it and move on.
The other thing about this quote is that very last sentence: "Prove real." That is the key phrase that ties all of this together. All these things become arrogance or insecurity without that last piece. Someone who is truly confident may seem like a dream, but if they believe it themselves, no one can doubt them.
I feel like I am not doing a very good job of articulating how powerful this quote is for me. Before I rant on for another 5 pages, I would just like to tell you that as tacky as this blog is- and believe me, I am the queen of cliches- I truly believe in the things I write here. I feel like society today has turned positivity and inspiration into a laughing stock, a hippie-dippie sophism that could never actual help anyone improve themselves as a human being.
I believe the only problem with inspiration is that sometimes it gets repeated so much that it loses its meaning. We hear it so often that it becomes void, and then anyone who tries to say that is seen as just another silly dreamer who won't actually follow the words they are saying.
The only way to inspire anyone is to give them the tools they need to inspire themselves. We need to put our ideas into unique words that strike a chord or make people really think about the meaning of a quote. I believe what I write here with every bit of my being, and I share it here just in case someone discovers something for themself here.
I've learned how to find inspiration everywhere. I hope you can too.
For some reason, these phrases have been floating around in my head all week. I saw them on a quotes website whilst searching for quotes about the Roaring '20s, and they just stuck with me. They ring so poignantly and are unconventional inspirational words.
You would never think to encourage someone by telling them to try and appear to be something on the outside that they might not be on the inside. When you initially read that, you think that it is bad because it appears to be about external features. After thinking about it though, I've realized that this is the quote I've been waiting to hear for the past 5 years of my life.
I am constantly saying how I hate it when people tell me to be confident. I feel that way because I have always thought of confidence as arrogance, for whatever reason. Everyone I knew who was supposedly "confident" I saw as bratty, self-absorbed, and condescending. I never once stopped to think that maybe I just hadn't seen REAL confidence in action.
I realize now that REAL confidence comes from loving yourself and being able to understand who you truly are and what you are capable of. REAL confidence is believing in yourself enough to put your talents out there. It is also having the modesty to humbly accept praise. REAL confidence is a balance between humanity and fearlessness, and I've never looked at it that way.
In my opinion, "Travel light" is another way of saying that you have to let some things go or that you have to be modest. If you let everything you are (or aren't) capable of go to your head, your ego will inflate (or deflate) so much that it becomes pointless to even try. You just have to let some things go. Acknowledge it and move on.
The other thing about this quote is that very last sentence: "Prove real." That is the key phrase that ties all of this together. All these things become arrogance or insecurity without that last piece. Someone who is truly confident may seem like a dream, but if they believe it themselves, no one can doubt them.
I feel like I am not doing a very good job of articulating how powerful this quote is for me. Before I rant on for another 5 pages, I would just like to tell you that as tacky as this blog is- and believe me, I am the queen of cliches- I truly believe in the things I write here. I feel like society today has turned positivity and inspiration into a laughing stock, a hippie-dippie sophism that could never actual help anyone improve themselves as a human being.
I believe the only problem with inspiration is that sometimes it gets repeated so much that it loses its meaning. We hear it so often that it becomes void, and then anyone who tries to say that is seen as just another silly dreamer who won't actually follow the words they are saying.
The only way to inspire anyone is to give them the tools they need to inspire themselves. We need to put our ideas into unique words that strike a chord or make people really think about the meaning of a quote. I believe what I write here with every bit of my being, and I share it here just in case someone discovers something for themself here.
I've learned how to find inspiration everywhere. I hope you can too.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
trying to be someone that i can be proud of someday
I try not to make New Year's resolutions because I know I will never follow through and hate disappointing myself year after year. Just as a general rule, I think self-improvement shouldn't (doesn't) only happen when a new year kicks in. It's a constant process of editing yourself and adapting to life to become who you are meant to be.
That process involves changing how I think. I know, that sounds so difficult and highly time-consuming, but since I've set small goals for myself and tried to change how I feel about various situations, I've been achieving more.
My point is, if you go into a situation thinking that you are going to fail, you will. You have to believe in yourself before the rest of the world can. This week, I decided to be happier by way of never giving up and doing things the way I want to instead of trying to meet other people's expectations or guidelines.
Already, I feel so different, like I could do anything I wanted to and no one could stop me. It's not that I think other people know less than me or are trying to hold me down, I just realized that by doing things my way, I can get the same things accomplished and HAVE FUN while getting there.
I feel like I am able to laugh at myself more, instead of getting extremely frustrated when I have to try something for a second time. I am learning how to say no to my compulsive need for organization and control. I have a much easier time accepting spontaneity and rule-bending.
A very wise lady once told me that control is not freeing. You cannot have freedom or experience life to the fullest if you have control all the time. The way to change your attitude is to manage your stress. Eliminate things that bring you discomfort and do more of the things that bring you peace and solace. Of course, sometimes you just can't get rid of everything that brings you stress. So in those cases, you might just have to change the way you see your situation and make the most out of what you have.
My goal this year, and really for the rest of my life, is to live like this: in the moment, doing what I want to do, and loving what I have. I want to inspire myself and, hopefully, other people who come across me or my blog. I want the world to know that you don't have to be miserable and you don't have to be afraid of who you are because there is always a place for you. It just might not be where you are now.
I know this post has been kind of all over the place, but so is my mind right now. I've had all these thoughts and revelations this past month, and I want to share them all. This is the best way I have found to do that.
That process involves changing how I think. I know, that sounds so difficult and highly time-consuming, but since I've set small goals for myself and tried to change how I feel about various situations, I've been achieving more.
My point is, if you go into a situation thinking that you are going to fail, you will. You have to believe in yourself before the rest of the world can. This week, I decided to be happier by way of never giving up and doing things the way I want to instead of trying to meet other people's expectations or guidelines.
Already, I feel so different, like I could do anything I wanted to and no one could stop me. It's not that I think other people know less than me or are trying to hold me down, I just realized that by doing things my way, I can get the same things accomplished and HAVE FUN while getting there.
I feel like I am able to laugh at myself more, instead of getting extremely frustrated when I have to try something for a second time. I am learning how to say no to my compulsive need for organization and control. I have a much easier time accepting spontaneity and rule-bending.
A very wise lady once told me that control is not freeing. You cannot have freedom or experience life to the fullest if you have control all the time. The way to change your attitude is to manage your stress. Eliminate things that bring you discomfort and do more of the things that bring you peace and solace. Of course, sometimes you just can't get rid of everything that brings you stress. So in those cases, you might just have to change the way you see your situation and make the most out of what you have.
My goal this year, and really for the rest of my life, is to live like this: in the moment, doing what I want to do, and loving what I have. I want to inspire myself and, hopefully, other people who come across me or my blog. I want the world to know that you don't have to be miserable and you don't have to be afraid of who you are because there is always a place for you. It just might not be where you are now.
I know this post has been kind of all over the place, but so is my mind right now. I've had all these thoughts and revelations this past month, and I want to share them all. This is the best way I have found to do that.
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