rarely pure and never simple

I (unconsciously) started writing as a kind of self-therapy. Not for any specific ailment, just some stressors that I have since affectionately dubbed “side effects of living.” At thirteen, I was your stereotypical teenage girl, plagued by stock anxiety problems, negative body image, and no idea where I wanted to go in my life.

I started writing for myself. It wasn’t an intentional exercise. Most of what I wrote was never meant to be (and never was) shared. Writing was (and still is) my way of sifting through my thoughts and trying to make sense of my feelings and the world around me.

The decision to start a blog had two reasons backing it.  1) I wanted a place to catalogue my writing, and 2) honestly, I just wanted to play around with fonts and backgrounds. I created a bio for myself, carefully chose my color scheme, and plastered a personally significant phrase on the URL. And that’s all the simplicity I needed. I never imagined that it might evolve into something that I would willingly share with people.

But it has become just that. Don’t get me wrong- I do NOT write to please others, to influence other’s opinions, or to gain some kind of unaccredited cyber-fame. But over the course of those first few posts, I ended up coming to the realization that writing gives you power.

I’m not talking exclusively about political power or social control, though writing does have strong influence in those arenas. Because we need words to communicate and articulate. Language and communication are the starting points for change. There’s personal change, of course, which leads to changes in relationships, communities, societies, and eventually, evolution on a global level. Yes, it’s incredibly over-said, but change starts on a microscopic level and ripples out, exponentially affecting progress.

Aside from the long term developments that literary musings can enact, writing (and reading) provide a platform for changing your beliefs, interpreting your thoughts, and compartmentalizing abstract concepts. When you write, you have complete control. Writing is empowerment. Because somebody is bound to listen eventually. Even if you don’t plan for anyone to hear.

One thing I've realized is that everyone, regardless of how it may seem most of the time, has something valuable and valid to share. Whether that is through writing or music or scientific research, every individual needs a way of expressing themselves. I've been lucky enough to find more than one, but the most personally specific is writing.

Writing helped me come to the conclusion that there is no better way to live than to do what you love. It gives me a chance to understand myself and figure out the people around me. I know I will never know everything I want to know, and I definitely will never be able to save any of the people I see struggling, and I most certainly can’t expect to agree entirely with my current self if I look back on my own words ten years from now. But that’s alright. Because for right now, I have this. I have coffee shop napkins and post-it notes. I have Microsoft Word and countless half-filled notebooks. And I have the ability to write as many letters and unpublished blog posts as I want.

Honestly, that is what I cherish most about writing. It doesn't have to be for anyone but yourself.